5 Things You Learn from Breaking Up and Moving Out

What can you do with an empty room and an empty heart?


It's hard to believe that you can gain anything from the loss of a loved one. When you are mourning the end of a relationship, learning from the experience just might be the last thing on your mind. However, looking forward to the light at the end of the tunnel could help you honor someone's memory, move on from the painful event, and start a new chapter in your life as a stronger, wiser, and better person. 

Here are the 5 things that we can learn from breaking up and moving out:

  • We can live with the pain

After breaking up with someone you loved, the home that you once shared can feel haunted by his or her memory. Your heart may break at the mere sight of the empty side of the bed, his or her favorite coffee cup, or the place at the table that he or she will never take again. However, one of the first things that you can learn is that it is possible to live with your grief. 

You can put yourself on auto pilot, go through the motions, and continue on with life as though nothing happened. You can do it so much that one day, you won't have to wonder if it's hurting any less or if you're just getting used to the pain. One day, you will simply understand that you can feel the loss and still enjoy the rest of your life. 

  • We can create or find a new home

Changing your surroundings can help you on your road to recovery. Trust us on this one: it will be easier for you to move on and start again if you no longer see traces of your life together everywhere you look. And so, once you have given yourself enough time to heal, you may want to improve your old home or look for a brand new one.

  • We can let go of the unnecessary

Once you have chosen between sprucing up your old home or moving into a new one, the next step is to say goodbye to certain things! To free up space in your home and in your heart, you must recycle or donate the following: things that remind you of your ex, and things that you no longer use. 

RL Tip: Since you once lived under the same roof, you might stumble upon your former partner's clothes and other belongings. While it may be tempting to burn everything and laugh kontrabida-style as the flames turn his or her things to ash, you have to rise above the thought. Place everything in a balikbayan box and ask a trusted friend to deliver the package. Do not deliver the package yourself. We repeat: DO. NOT. DELIVER. THE. PACKAGE. YOURSELF. 

  • We can learn new skills

If you have lived with the same person for years, there may be certain things that you never learned (or have forgotten how) to do. You may want to take this time to practice preparing your own meals and fixing small things in and around the house. 

  • We (much like our homes) are a work in progress

Although painting the walls, buying new furniture and decor, and figuring out how to do things on your own can certainly make you feel better, it may not be enough. Every now and then, you still might wake up in the middle of the night and reach out for someone who is no longer there. You might still come home and realize, as if for the first time, that no one is waiting for you. In these instances, no amount of home improvement can bring you solace or comfort.

The only thing that we can offer is the thought that, much like the process of building and renovating a home, everything will be worth it in the end. It reminds us of a story shared by author and preacher Bo Sanchez: "In front of my house, someone is building her house. I remember when I remodeled my house two years ago: It was also not a nice sight. It was dusty. It was noisy. It was messy. But when it was completed, it was absolutely beautiful."

Your home and your heart may be in shambles right now, but at the end of this "construction process," everything will be better than you imagined. And if not? You can always start again.

More on

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